Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
