that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize
