Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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