Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
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