I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
