I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
