Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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