The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
He shit in the fireplace
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
