Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He? As in you personified your dick?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Just puked most of my soul out..
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
