It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
