hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Randomize
