So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize