this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
