I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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