Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
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