It's Friday. Sex?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize