Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
