is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
