do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
