I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
