I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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