Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
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I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
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Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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