after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
