So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
