does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
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The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize