She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
