I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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