I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No subtext here. People are naked.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize