and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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