I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
So much Jack, so little girl.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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