you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
