During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
my poor anus
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
