the new term for farting is butt boxing.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
