better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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