I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
