Where is the hickey?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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