now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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