can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize