we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
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I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
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Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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