Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
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I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
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