i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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