I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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