college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize