You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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