last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
