I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
