super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
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