We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
