also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
