she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
