3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
