there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
