you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
We're not piercing ourselves today.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
