Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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