the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Randomize
