he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
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i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
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