There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize