Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
she told me i tasted like america
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
