this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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